S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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