Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
it's great music for shaving your balls
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
True strength comes from lack of pants
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
