My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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