OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
