So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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