atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
