I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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