what day is it and did you see me today?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
