gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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