you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
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I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
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I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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