ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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