ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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