We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
