Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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