That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
