6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Houston, we have a blender
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
