Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
