I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
