And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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