This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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