im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
