He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
