I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
