i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
