Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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