Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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