i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
