I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize