Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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