it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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