look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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