I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Church boner. Awkwardddd
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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