Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
