My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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