I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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