Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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