in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
