I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize