When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize