the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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