I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
