i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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