plz talk dirty to me
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
