Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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