I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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