I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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