When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
