She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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