fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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