yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
