This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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