Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
