the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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