Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
