God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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