I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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