"it" just moved
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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