how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
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Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
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SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
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