on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
