I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
